yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
