if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
