well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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