the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Farmville is her only friend.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
