so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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