Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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