meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Randomize
