Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
