Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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