My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize