So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
