dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The Olympian is in my bed
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
