do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize