Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
