I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
