Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
