I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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