i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
