There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
