I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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