I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
