You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
