So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
