I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
this hospital has no fireball
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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