Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Randomize