I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
