I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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