this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
