i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize