Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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