I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Randomize
