whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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