I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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