I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
