Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
