If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
