Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
