His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
