Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
