I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
