theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Help. Why am I so naked?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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