Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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