fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
