We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
