Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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