Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
it's like heaven, but drunker
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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