Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
