he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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