Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
