he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
