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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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