she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
