spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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