My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
