It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
