guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
