Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
