Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize