I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
