dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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