ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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