it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize