How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize