He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You need a sexual gate keeper
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
