There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
