Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You're a waste of cheezeits
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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